Now we're cookin'!

I watched Idol Thursday after the minor brain surgery that it took to get it onto my screen. I wanted to burn it and send it to Jon, but my tower fought me tooth and nail, so no dice. The reason I wanted to send it was because it was by far and away the most entertaining episode thus far this season....finally, these schmucks are being judged by their singing, getting rounds of applause or crickets and the list was whittled down to 99 remaining contestants. Again, they didn't show everybody's performance, and they absolutely refuse to let the guy with the cowboy hat take the motherfucker off. He didn't do so well (IMHO) but they let him through anyway. The bald guy with the girlfriend and her kids is going top twelve. I knew his name when I started this email, but it's escaped me. Holmes can blow, fo sho, fo sho.

I'm in Tahoe, so A.I. is (supposedly) going to be Tivo'd. I've had hit-or-miss luck with my Homebrew PVR, so we'll see what's waiting for me on my hard drive upon my return. Tomorrow's show is the now-infamous "Group Competition" and thanks to the preview last week, I already know that some of my predictions will come to fruition.

Somebody's going to bow out, and probably because they suck and know it, but they'll say it's because of the tremendous "pressure". No shit? You mean...GASP...it's a fucking competion? Super duh.

Champale wishes and fish stick dreams,

Prof.

P.S. I started this on Thursday and finished it today (Monday) so there are some time discrepanies...sorry for the confusion.

A Night Full of Disappointment!

Tuesday night was the last of the faux auditions (I say faux because there's really only one reason to send such crappy "singers" to meet the judges). Boston was awful! Although, apparently they sent 20 something people on through. Hip Hip Hurray! (still bored!) I know some have commented on Simon's rudeness to the Cher wanna-be but frankly I thought that was the best bit of advice the kid ever received. I mean...get real...you are singing Cher almost as well as Cher, then telling us all that you can do Judy Garland...go get a dress and make some money! If you got the right wig, Lady Bunny just might let you perform on one of the lesser stages at Wigstock...however, seeing as you are so adverse to being a "female impersonator" (which seriously was about the only thing I could tell that you were good at), then you'd better figure out some other bit of schtick...and quick, cuz Idol ain't for you! Last night 175 contestants made it to Hollywood. And on the same damn night as the 48th Annual Grammy Awards. Apparently there are more people interested in American Idol than the Grammy's as they won the ratings quite handily. However, at my house the Grammy's are big so a truce was reached allowing everyone to get what they wanted...GAWD I LOVE TiVo!!! Madonna started off the Grammy's like she should...with a freakin bang...Yowzer!! American Idol represented well at this year's Grammy's I'm happy to say as the first televised award (several had been given in a pre-show including 3 to Miss Mariah) went to American Idol's very first winner...the amazing Kelly Clarkson! She beat out Mariah which shocked the ever loving heck out of me! It was a proud moment! Paula represented very well in a beautiful little number...as Paris said "Paula's HOT!" And what a pleasure to see Randy Jackson playing with Mariah AND Sly and the Family Stone! I should also mention my favorite, favorite performance was U2 and Mary J. Blige performing One...OMG...simply amazing!! At this point, you are probably wondering why I'm still blathering on about the Grammy's and not making some snippy comments about American Idol. Well, that would be a result of the low-point of my evening. The point where I realized that TiVo had let me down. That something had gone sadly awry and...horror of horrors...the marathon (please understand folks...American Idol is not a 50 meter dash) that is American Idol did NOT get recorded! I almost cried! The first night in Hollywood where we actually had singing (and apparently in some cases warbling) and where more than 60 people were cut did NOT, I repeat, did NOT record! DAMNATION!!! Thankfully, just as I was realizing the exact nature of this most egregious error...the lovely Kelly Clarkson won her second Grammy...ever...beating out the likes of Gwen Stefani and giving props to Bonny Raitt. Oh...and then...one of my favorites...Fantasia came out on the Sly and the Family Stone tribute...gotta love her...and the new teeth. In the end, the night was full of amazing music and heart-felt disappointment...for me, the Idol wanna-be's sent packing from Hollywood AND the loosers at the Grammy's. Then again..."it's an honor just to be nominated!" j.