Missing that Latin Heat!

I'm having a bit of trouble figuring out what to write about this week. I should be writing about J-Lo and how amazing she is and how she lit a fire in the collective belly of the contestants. I should be...but, I'm not. In fact, it appears that the bigger the name brought in to "coach" the contestants, the duller the performances. Not that they were bad, per se, they were just bland. Latin music, in my opinion, should inspire heat, and there just wasn't much of it. Of course, the fact that dinner was running late; homework didn't want to be completed coupled with a general apathy in my house, might have had something to do with my general feeling of "who cares." Who knows, right?!

So, now I'm stuck! What to write about. There was a big shocker last night - tis' true! Sanjaya didn't suck and wasn't the worst. Maybe that will end up being the kiss of death for him, but I doubt it. In fact, as much as I hate to admit it, I've grown rather fond of this guy. He knows he is nowhere near the best singer, so he plays to his strengths - his youth and his hair. And dang, the boy knows how to work the camera. Bravo! Sure, it's a singing competition, not an audition for TRESemmé, but give the boy credit...he's not the one who put himself through to the final 12 guys. We have Randy, Paula and Simon to thank for that.

It is much less of a shocker who I think did suck last night. Yup! You got it! Our Cruise Ship princess and the weird space guy both sucked to high heaven. I loved it when Simon told the Cruise Ship princess that since she couldn't sing, she'd figured out a way to keep the votes coming...namely by wearing as little clothes as possible. That had to hurt! As for the creepy guy...I just don't know what to say. Apparently J-Lo had just taken a long toke off the crack-pipe right before he sang for her...what else can you blame those little "goose-pimples" on?! Get real! I'd easily bet those two will be in the bottom three tonight! Least I hope so!

Ok, before I take up all your time with my blathering about inconsequential stuff (then again...isn't that the whole point of Idol Chatter?)...perhaps it's time to actually "judge" the performances.

Melinda Doolittle
Sway

So, Simon thought it was a little bit of a Lounge/Caberet performance. Like Melinda, I'm glad that he finally got to say something, anything (no matter how big a stretch) negative. Listen...she was good...heck, great...as always. I'd be surprised if we don't see Miss Melinda in the big finalé. She's just that good! Although, every time I watch her receive the standard praise from the judges I always think of that movie line - "you like me; you really, really like me!"

LeKisha Jones
Conga

Well, I like Kiki! But Latin ain't her thing and Gloria Estefan's Conga ain't her song! She did awight (to use a Randy colloquialism), but let me be brutally honest...I never really liked this song when Gloria performed it, much less when anyone else does it. And it ain't really Kiki's style. Not that she was bad...but Lounge/Caberet was a pretty accurate description. Sorry...that's just how I felt.

Chris Richardson
Smooth

First - I like Chris a lot! Second - I like this song a lot! The two combined should have made me as wet as Paula after one of the guys performs (really, it's getting a little disgusting the way Paula gets so wet after one of the guys performs...perhaps she needs someone besides the blow-up Ken doll stashed in her dressing room...I'm not sayin', I'm just sayin'). It was good...but not great! Still...Chris stays I think...as he should!

Haley Scarnato
Turn the Beat Around

To repeat Simon - her voice has taken her as far as she can go in the competition. She's not stupid though which is why she's taken to wearing the least amount of clothes as possible. Ya heard?! It doesn't hurt that she's got military connections. All those guys, being sent off to participate in Bushie's follies need some kind of pinnup (not that I was around during WWII - but pinnups were the rage then) and Cruise Ship princess apparently is working overtime to make certain she's the main one. Over her and those legs! She wasn't turnin' anything around but my stomach...blech!

Phil Stacey
Maria, Maria

Way to kill one of my favorite songs! Hated it! Here is another one whose voice has outlived it usefulness. Problem is, he hasn't figured out that showing skin might help (ala the Cruise Ship princess) or that ever changing hairstyles can make you interesting (ala Sanjaya). He's bald and creepy and frankly, needs to be gone!

Jordin Sparks
The Rhythm is Gonna Get You

Another song by Gloria Estefan (why wasn't she the celeb guest this week huh?!) that I'm not a big fan of. I absolutely adore Jordin and don't think she's at any risk of being sent home. I wasn't all that thrilled about the performance though. Sorry...just bein' honest!

Blake Lewis
I Need to Know

Ok...I remember when Mr. J-Lo came out with this song (remember being in Christopher's Mercedes foxy coxy driving over the Bay Bridge on the way into the City for work...good times). Loved it then! Loved it now! Loved Blake performing it! Dang...I'm as bad as Paula! Thanks by the way to the fan who sent me the great photoshop'd photo of Blake and Chris this past week...yee haw!!

Sanjaya Malakar
Bésame Mucho

I don't know this song! Never heard it before and really don't care to ever hear it again. But, surprisingly enough, Sanjaya actually sounded all right. Certainly not the worst performance of the night! And that my friends is enough to win him an award for the night. It might also be the kiss of death...but I doubt it!

And with that, I'm outta here. Idol is cool and all, but it ain't all I got goin' on. Peace out!

j.