"...with a rebel yell..."
And with those words, San Antonio officially became a joke! Yeah...you heard me right...a joke! San Antonio - that great city that gave us the Alamo! Texas - that great state that gave the world it's current 8 year rash. Although in fairness to Texas, I can't be too hard on it because it gave the world my grandparents and my dad! All of them people of character, principle, their word AND they can sing. Before I let this diatribe take a rather nasty turn into the barren wasteland that is our current politics let me just stop and say that those Texas greats in my history have all the great qualities currently lacking in...well you get the picture. Apparently at least one of those attributes was also missing in ten thousand, nine hundred and seventy-eight of those who came to audition. While you wrap your head around that, allow me to vent for a quick minute.
Perhaps I'm getting old! Ok, let's face it...I am getting old! I was reminded of that just the other day by my eight year old who told me just that..."you're old!" And perhaps, given my current stage of dotery, I've grown tired of mean. In fact, I've found a bumper sticker that has become my current theme song (ok...it's not really a song, but would be if I could just get someone with a modicum of talent to put it to music) - "Mean people suck!!" Mean is OUT! At least for me...because I'm old!
I heard an Entertainment Reporter this morning describe last night's show as "cringe worthy!" It was indeed! If you've read any of my past musings on American Idol, you'll know that I pretty much always agree with Simon! I even like his snarky "I'm not being rude" comments. Simon's paid to tell people the truth...whether they like to hear it or not. My beef ain't with Simon!
Nope, my beef is with the damn producers of this show who feel the need to regale Simon, Paula, Randy, and the viewing audience (that'd be you'n'me) with people who don't seem to know a good note from a good fart. Seriously, my eight year old farts in better tune that some of these people sing. Not only do I blame the producers of AI, I blame the parents, educators, friends, etc. who tell these idiots that they've got talent. And so these buffoons come parading through our living rooms screaming, wheezing, burping, humping and ultimately showering expletives down on the judges for telling them what they should have been told a long damn time ago - YOU CAN'T SING! We are suppose to feel sorry for these dingleberries when they've been told the truth - uh NO! They shouldn't have been there in the first damn place!! And, failing to get the hint from their parents, educators or friends, the producers should have laughed politely and sent them packing. Instead, these dullards are pawned off onto Simon, Paula and Randy and ultimately us. And we are suppose to coddle these people???? Feel sorry for them when they break down into puddles of tears??? Bleck!!!
There...I feel better! Before I wrap this up though, I'd like to give a shout out to the one guy who understood that he sucked! And boy did he ever! Heaven forgive me, but that was the absolute worst rendition of "Amazing Grace" I've ever heard. I wanted to throw stuff at the telly. I wanted him to stop but he just droned on and on and on and on and on. The judges, as you saw, had nowhere to turn to hide the obvious mirth! Hell, I'da been laughing right along with them given the chance. Having watched other "performers" (and I use that word oh so lightly) wail and moan and curse the judges, I just naturally assumed that big boy would do the same. Not this guy! Instead, he thanked them; told them his cousin (next audition) was the better singer; then getting the approval necessary to "put on a show" as he walked out the door. And did he ever!!! I nearly wet myself laughing! William Green, you are my American Idol Reject of the Season!!! And by the way...thanks for showing all that love for your cousin who really could sing!!!
Well, the rebel yell never did really materialize. Instead San Antonio and in fact Texas ended on a whimper. And I feel better to be out of the Lone Star State, as do I'm sure the twenty-two who got the golden ticket. Tonight we'll be treated to the best and worst that didn't make it on the previous slauditions (get it: slaughter/audition). Then...finally...Hollywood!!!
Until then remember this kiddos...mean people suck!!!
j.
Perhaps I'm getting old! Ok, let's face it...I am getting old! I was reminded of that just the other day by my eight year old who told me just that..."you're old!" And perhaps, given my current stage of dotery, I've grown tired of mean. In fact, I've found a bumper sticker that has become my current theme song (ok...it's not really a song, but would be if I could just get someone with a modicum of talent to put it to music) - "Mean people suck!!" Mean is OUT! At least for me...because I'm old!
I heard an Entertainment Reporter this morning describe last night's show as "cringe worthy!" It was indeed! If you've read any of my past musings on American Idol, you'll know that I pretty much always agree with Simon! I even like his snarky "I'm not being rude" comments. Simon's paid to tell people the truth...whether they like to hear it or not. My beef ain't with Simon!
Nope, my beef is with the damn producers of this show who feel the need to regale Simon, Paula, Randy, and the viewing audience (that'd be you'n'me) with people who don't seem to know a good note from a good fart. Seriously, my eight year old farts in better tune that some of these people sing. Not only do I blame the producers of AI, I blame the parents, educators, friends, etc. who tell these idiots that they've got talent. And so these buffoons come parading through our living rooms screaming, wheezing, burping, humping and ultimately showering expletives down on the judges for telling them what they should have been told a long damn time ago - YOU CAN'T SING! We are suppose to feel sorry for these dingleberries when they've been told the truth - uh NO! They shouldn't have been there in the first damn place!! And, failing to get the hint from their parents, educators or friends, the producers should have laughed politely and sent them packing. Instead, these dullards are pawned off onto Simon, Paula and Randy and ultimately us. And we are suppose to coddle these people???? Feel sorry for them when they break down into puddles of tears??? Bleck!!!
There...I feel better! Before I wrap this up though, I'd like to give a shout out to the one guy who understood that he sucked! And boy did he ever! Heaven forgive me, but that was the absolute worst rendition of "Amazing Grace" I've ever heard. I wanted to throw stuff at the telly. I wanted him to stop but he just droned on and on and on and on and on. The judges, as you saw, had nowhere to turn to hide the obvious mirth! Hell, I'da been laughing right along with them given the chance. Having watched other "performers" (and I use that word oh so lightly) wail and moan and curse the judges, I just naturally assumed that big boy would do the same. Not this guy! Instead, he thanked them; told them his cousin (next audition) was the better singer; then getting the approval necessary to "put on a show" as he walked out the door. And did he ever!!! I nearly wet myself laughing! William Green, you are my American Idol Reject of the Season!!! And by the way...thanks for showing all that love for your cousin who really could sing!!!
Well, the rebel yell never did really materialize. Instead San Antonio and in fact Texas ended on a whimper. And I feel better to be out of the Lone Star State, as do I'm sure the twenty-two who got the golden ticket. Tonight we'll be treated to the best and worst that didn't make it on the previous slauditions (get it: slaughter/audition). Then...finally...Hollywood!!!
Until then remember this kiddos...mean people suck!!!
j.
posted by Jonathan at 9:13 AM
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