Once again we are "treated" (and I use that word oh so lightly) to another night of songs from has-beens who we could care less about. Freddy is dead (tragically yes...but still dead). The two remaining band members who are attempting to bring arena rock back, Queen style, are geezers who looked completely like they were clueless as to what was going on. I'm beginning to wonder what the producers or those who choose the themes are thinking. Can you imagine ANY of these guys recording one of their performances from last night? (Don't strain your brain...it's a gimme!) Probably the most entertaining part of the night was the game I played with ~foxy coxy~ trying to figure out the make-up artist behind some of the worst make-up in the show's history. I would like to give a shout out to Jessica Rabbit's make-up artist who came out of retirement and brought Jessica's comic book make-up to life on at least one contestant last night. Watching the McPheever inducer perform last night, I felt quite certain that her make-up had it's own entourage. And what about Chris Daughtry's eyes? Oh, and was it just me, or was there a very bizarrely anemic attempt at recreating a big arena feel when it came to lighting? Having said that, I must say that with the exception of one exceedingly bad performance (fingernails on a chalk-board), the kids did a decent job of covering music they didn't grow up with and probably never heard unless they've made an appearance at any sporting event or watched Constantine perform Bohemian Rhapsody last season. And so, without further ado...here's the Queen's review... Bucky Covington - Fat Bottomed Girls So Bucky decided to do a shout-out to Mandisa. Who can blame him! Lord knows, seems like Fat Bottomed Girls are in vogue these days. Bucky's a good hearted guy you know and his shout-out may have just widened (no pun intended) his appeal to the big booty girls. Heck, I know several who were more than impressed with his performance this week. Astonishing I know! Was it good enough to stay in for another week? Hmmmm...that's a tough one seeing as he went first...then again, the boy seems to have a power voting block that continues to save his skinny little white boy bottom. Bottom three? Sure! Out? That's a tougher call. Ace Young - We Will Rock You Simon said quite simply that he "really, really, really, really hated" it! I couldn't agree more! It was excruciatingly bad! I cringed during the entire performance. Heck, I couldn't even look at him and that made me wonder something...Ace's appeal has always been his sexy-come-hither looks, but what happens when he's so bad we can't even look at him? His looks have always over-powered his voice...always! What that has done is basically keep him solidly in the bottom three (with the exception of last week's debacle) but not far enough down to to be out. Based on this week's performance I think we've seen the last of the Smoldering Idol. YUCK! Kellie Pickler - Bohemian Rhapsody Pickler is a ho! An adorable, dim-witted, pick-up truck-cristening, bar-top riding ho! Don't believe me, then check out the prom dress Miss Thing wore to her prom. Still don't believe me. Then replay last night's performance when she got down on all fours and growled at every red-blooded American boy. Heck...what's not to love? She may not be the best singer, but I'd say she's spent enough time down on all fours (throw in a stipper pole for good measure) that she'll continue to stay out of the bottom three. Heck, she came out swinging last night! Way to go Pickler! I wonder who else voted with the other head this week? Chris Daughtry - Innuendo First comment made when Christ walked onto the stage..."What's up with those eyes?" Yep, Chris decided to join the ranks of the make-up challenged last night. It was an arresting look for sure and endeared him (along with that package the Professor recently pointed out) to a whole lot of race fans ('er...sorry, gay fans). However, he chose to sing a song nobody knows (or at least remembers) and he did it with his signature style that is growing increasingly tiring. I'm not sure this performance, coupled with his past few performances, won't put in the bottom three this week. Simon was right, Chris past up an opportunity to wow us...instead he just stunned us. Katharine McPhee - Don't Stop Me Now When did Jessica Rabbit's make-up artist come out of retirement? WOW! That song title sounds like something Jessica would perform and combined with those eyes and lips that literally had a life all their own, I was a little non-plused. The performance wasn't really all that hot for me either...maybe I was just too hung up on the similarities between her look and Jessica Rabbit's...maybe? For some reason, I don't think there's anything going to stop the McPheever inducer from showing up in the bottom two again this week. Elliott Yamin - Somebody to Love I hate to say it, but homeboy has a face that only his mother could love. And he's got dance moves reminiscent of the Sadie Hawkins dance in 7th grade. BUT as the Serentiy Prayer has taught us, we've learned to accept the things we cannot change! Because DAMN...the boy can sing! Somebody to Love indeed? Who doesn't love him after that performance (dancing not withstanding)? Taylor Hicks - Crazy Little Thing Called Love Ok...serious question here...Crazy Little Thing Called Love was a Queen song? Really? Did I miss something? WOW! All this time I thought Elvis or somebody equally notorious wrote/performaned that diddy. Never in my wildest dreams (not that I really care) did I think this came from the land of the Queens. After doing a quick Google, I found out I was a little lacking in my musical history. But, back to Taylor and his performance...I liked it...it was vintage Taylor Hicks and I'm certain the audience loved it because he got the most love from them of any of the artists last night. Crazy is right...like a fox! Paris Bennett - The Show Must Go On Y'all know I love my little Paris, but I felt like Simon last night when he said "I found it all a little weird." She looked hot and, Randy/Paula were right when they said she "worked it out" but I didn't feel like this was a strong night for her. I blame the producers for giving us, for two weeks now, genre's that don't showcase the contestant's strengths. Dang y'all, last week Paris was in the bottom three...I don't think she will be again this week...but it's too close for comfort! Whose ass do I have to kick to get the show back on track huh? Who? Paris...the show will go on for you...but the producers aren't doing you any favors with this drivel! ManDIVA
I'm all about faith! I'm all about letting people know that I'm all about faith! But I kinda feel like the big girl overplayed her faith a little. There's still a big ole' stage out there for ya though! Lisa Tucker
The amazing performance we were all waiting for never materialized...sucks cuz some people knew it was in there. To use a good sports analogy...you choked girl! Kevin Covais aka Squishy aka Chicken Little
Well, CK, you made your dad proud! I'm equally proud to be able to say you are outta here Melissa McGhee
She’s gone…gone…gone…and I miss her! She was sexy, sultry and a whole host of other descriptive “s’s”…but you guys booted her, damn you! Well, a night of Queen's promised to rock us...and they did a reasonable job. But really y'all, it's time to lay off signing up broke-down talent that needs their careers boosted. I'm sure Barry Manilow, Kenny Rogers and now Queen all loved the bump they've seen in music sales...but...I'm over it. And ~foxy coxy~ agrees...even though her Prozac dosages are so strong she can't get out of her fuzzy pink houserobe and powder blue house slippers long enough to do anything more than phone in her comments. Heck...after last night's session...we may see the advent of audio blogging.
As always...your comments are greatly encouraged!
j.
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