When I first heard that Rod Stewart was to be on the show, I was honestly quite put off. I mean, enough already right? Old fogies, well past their prime, really don't belong on a show that is attempting to choose our next, young, hot American Idol, right? We've already had the barely alive members of Queen...the face pulled back so tight he didn't look like himself, Kenny Rogers...I mean really enough already! As the day progressed though, I began to get this feeling like it was just might be a good day...there was an expectancy or something. Perhaps it was the eargerly awaited arrival of Suri (invitro baby) born to that classic closet case Tom Cruise (and his totally brainwashed "finance"...yeah right really...how long will that last...anyone care to place a bet) yesterday. Perhaps it was because (poetic justice this), his arch-nemesis Brooke Sheilds also gave birth yesterday. Perhaps it was because Rod and finance recently gave birth. New life has a way of making old new again. Plus, Rod isn't trying to resurrect his "glory" days...no...he's been breathing new life into the great old standards. On top of that, the contestants weren't being asked to perform any of his old schtick...thankfully...can you imagine what a debacle that would have been? Nearly as bad as last week right?
No...last night was all about the standards that we've all known and loved our entire lives. As I sat down to watch, I didn't have that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach I expected to have. I felt alive...like I was watching the slow, strange birth of the newest baby to be spit out of the American Idol womb. Maybe it was all the baby talk in the air. Whatever it was, the contestants felt it too and they sang their little hearts out. In fact, I pretty much liked them all. Ok, Pickler spent too much time on her knees this week and not enough time giving birth to an amazing performance (ok even a substandard performance would have done). Ace spent too much time on his hair and wardrobe to really give us anything besides his standard fare. Otherwise, heck, the stage was filled with star performers and performances. It was a good night. In fact, I actually felt proud to be an Idol fan. But, enough of the blather...I too have given birth (no silly, not that kind of birth)...I've give birth to some thoughts about last night's perfomances... Chris Daughtry - What a Wonderful World We knew eventually that Chris was going to have to have some kind of performance other than the one he's had the past umpteenth weeks. Chris is good you know...heck, he might even win the thing. But his performances have gotten stale. That's why he was smart this week to listen to Simon's advice and change it up. And guess what, it worked. Gone was the eye makeup and grunged out look. In came a softer, sexier Chris. Wonderful indeed! Paris Bennett - These Foolish Things This girl hardly ever looks foolish on stage. In fact, she looks like a dang natural. I honestly think her mom gave birth to her on a stage. And as a side note, wasn't it cute to see her bawling her eyes out while watching her little girl spend a little time with Rod and family? Even dabbing her eyes with that bejeweled hand (did ya see the size of that rock...holy heck?!). But I digress! Paris showed that she's in this thing to win. I wouldn't say she gave Billie Holliday a run for her money or anything...then again, she didn't sound like a cheap, highschool imitation either. And hey Simon...I actually like to hear her talk, even if she does sound like Minnie Mouse's little neice. Taylor Hicks - You Send Me Honest opinion: Had Taylor sang the second half like he sang the first half, I would have been willing him to go home. The first half could have been performed by the 7 year old Paris in my house in one of his impromtu shower performances. Simon said "lame cabaret"...how tacky (but true). Thankfully Taylor pulled out all the stops and performed that second half magically. Inspired! Elliott Yamin - It Had To Be You Here's where Elliott's looks (or lack thereof) and personality (definiately lack thereof) might start to have a detrimental effect on his longevity in regards to American Idol. Sure he sang all right...but it wasn't one of his best performances. It was just "awright" as Randy is so fond of saying. For the first time, I wouldn't feel bad if Elliott wasn't in the competition any more. Not that I would feel good...but I just don't feel like it has to be him that wins it all. Kellie Pickler - Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered Good Gawd! What to say about this performance? Lose one word out of the title and that's how I felt (if you can't figure out which word then you obviously didn't watch her butcher this little number). It sucked and not in the good way that she's use to hearing when someone says she "sucks"! It just sucked! The only positive that can be said is that at least she realized it was downright awful. Hey...she had on good shoes (said so herself)...and that will be enough to save her cute little ass from the frying pan. Ace Young - That's All That title should describe Ace's time with us! I mean it was a better performance than many (many) he has given us...but come on. And what's up with Randy AND Paula (ok...Paula not a shock) saying that his falsetto is his money maker? I wanna puke every time I hear him do a bad imitation of the sound Michael Jackson makes when he zeroes in on a good kid to grope. And another thing...dude, that hair was just down right nasty. Really...that's all!! Katharine McPhee - Someone to Watch Over Me What a perfect song choice for baby night! And what a perfect song for this oh so hot chickee poo! Seriously y'all!! The McPheever inducer should stick with the Standards because it's where she shines the most! I don't particularly think she made Paris look like an amateur, but she certainly made some of the others look like amateurs. No wonder mom (her's not mine) was in tears after that performance. Watching all that hard work payoff...heck, mom started seeing dollar signs after that performance. Somebody's for sure watching over this one! Bucky Covington I'm sad to see this guy go...but hey, like he said in an interview, "somebody had to" and it might has well have been him. ManDIVA I'm all about faith! I'm all about letting people know that I'm all about faith! But I kinda feel like the big girl overplayed her faith a little. There's still a big ole' stage out there for ya though! Lisa Tucker The amazing performance we were all waiting for never materialized...sucks cuz some people knew it was in there. To use a good sports analogy...you choked girl! Kevin Covais aka Squishy aka Chicken Little Well, CL, you made your dad proud! I'm equally proud to be able to say you are outta here Melissa McGhee She’s gone…gone…gone…and I miss her! She was sexy, sultry and a whole host of other descriptive “s’s”…but you guys booted her, damn you! And so ended a night of the Standards that were most recently dredged up and put onto Rod Stewart's latest CD(s). He's already sold 16 million copies of the Standards albums and I expect him...with all my heart...to double that within the next couple of days. But besides the crass commercialism that is American Idol, this week it was nice to feel in the "family" way so to speak. Like we really are expecting and next month will give birth. At least this way we get to pick what our baby will sound and look like.
Until next time y'all...keep those votin' figures healthy!
j.
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