Right on time

Last night I went with some friends to the Castro theatre and saw "Valley Girl" and "The Legend of Billie Jean". We were drinking in the theatre and thus, yelling at the screen. Luckily we weren't the only ones doing it, so no worries, right? Leaving the theatre at midnight, we were tipsy and not quite done celebrating the wonder that is Nicolas Cage's chest hair shaved into the shape of eagle, we wandered into Moby Dick's. That's when the black out happened. I remember nothing. I'm so glad I've mastered taking out my contacts during a blackout, or else I would need stock in Accuvue. Imagine my surprise after getting home at God-knows-when as I was torn from my coma by the world's loudest knocking at my front door. Who in the fuck would dare beat on my door at 8am on a Saturday morning? Why, RCN cable of course, there at my request to install a dual-tuner High Definition Digital Video Recorder. You hear that BeyondTV? No more missed shows, or even worse, recordings that have a tendency to UN-sync the sound and the video, which is rather important when you're trying to enjoy a flippin' singing competition. Just in time for the final twelve, I will now enjoy Idol in vivid HD fabulousness. Yay! I did happen to catch Tuesday and Wednesday's shows, and for the first time in 5 years, I'm thrilled with the final 12! Every one of them deserve to be there (except I ain't pickin' Pickler..she is cute though). I think it's gonna come down to Chris Daughtry (more gratuitous shots of his monster package please...home skillet's packin' some heat fo sho) Paris (more ballads less Conga), Mandisa (love you), and Ace (hate him, but loved his song choice, and incidentally Drunk Paula (shut up) he was singing Floetry's version, not Michael's, which made me respect him even though I can't stand him) and my personal favorite, Lisa Tucker. She's got it goin' on, and her best performance is still in the cue I suspect. I'm out.

Prof.

My Top 12

Tonight's the big night...the night we find out who are final twelve will be. As with nearly 30 million other American's, I watched the girls and then the guys let it all out on the American Idol stage and, to be honest, for the most part I was underwhelmed. In fact, I rather thought the antics of the judges provided some of the more interesting moments. That's not to say that there wasn't a couple of good performances, because there were a couple of shining lights. However, for the most part I was left feeling a bit like Paris (the boy in my house, not the cute little contestant)...a little bored. About mid-way through the performances last night he got up off the sofa and announced he was going to bed. In a shocking twist he failed to dictate who he wanted to vote for...well, at least for the guys. And so, given my lack of real direction, I spent a sleepless night trying to put together my "dream" final twelve. Given the fact that I'm now short of the required amount of sleep required to really function at an appropriate level, I'm not sure just how spot on this list will be. So, here goes nothing...

Girls

Paris Bennett
What's not to love. She's cute, perky, got pipes for days and just makes you want to smile (and wiggle your bouty a little bit).

Mandisa
No need to justify this choice!

Melissa McGhee

She hasn't gotten nearly enough airtime in my opinion! Last week she was a little country, this week she was a little bit rock n' roll. And go figure...she nailed em both!

Kellie Pickler

What's not to like about this little girl. She's cute, has a story that just tugs at your heart strings and, even though she doesn't have the "best" voice (credit: Simon), she can blow (credit: Randy).

Lisa Tucker

Look, the girl can sing. I'd like to see her birth certificate though because I don't think she's 16. She acts old, sings old and really doesn't do much for me. But, she can sing, so...

Katherine McPhee

She's as polished as a gem in a jewelry store but she leaves me just a bit cold. However, she did kind of break out this week and I enjoyed her more than I have.

My pick to go home
Kinnik Sky - poor thing...she's beautiful but SUCKED this week.
Ayla Brown - please go home...probably basketball will be a better career choice.

Guys

Elliott Yamin

Did I hear correctly? You mean this guy can't hear out of one ear? And STILL sings like that? Sign him up NOW!

Taylor Hicks

For all those ticks and twitches (which scare the heck out of me), the boy can sing and sing GOOD!

Chris Daughtry

Ok, so maybe last week's comments were a little over the top. Maybe he's not ready for airplay yet...but he's got a career in music...a BIG one!

Bucky Covington

I like this guy SO much. His voice is unique above all the rest. And while he's not the best, I'd be really sad to see him go. And yes...he did get my vote last night (all 5 of them).

Ace Young

He will sail through to the final twelve because all the girls "swoon" over those smoldering good looks. The voice is ok. MUCH improved this week from last!

Gedeon McKinney

Well, I'll be a little bit honest, I'm like Simon, this guy is growing on me. He's got a mouth full of teeth that Mr. Ed would be proud of and he's a little bit over the top in his performances...but he's good!

My pick to go home

Kevin Covais - I know ~foxy coxy~ (along with every other granny out there) voted like mad for him (~foxy coxy~ voted 17 times)...but he's just not strong enough (and there aren't enough granny's out there). His poor showing last week is indicative, in my opinion, of where he'll end up this week.

Will Makar - I have nothing say. He's just not up to par.

Stay tuned to Fox tonight to see just how on my predictions are!

j.