I'm home today trying to forget that I have a touch of the flu or something like that and as such, I've had opportunity to hear the talking heads go on ad nauseam about last night's show. It appears to be the general consensus that the show sucked. Heck, that came even from people who's opinion I might actually value. Honestly, I didn't remember it being that bad, and so I decided to watch again. Following the re-watch, I still feel like I did last night; there was one great performance; a really good performance; three ok performances; and one that was just hideous. What absolutely NO ONE is talking about is what appeared to me to be a wardrobe malfunction. On most performance nights we often find McPheever wearing something really sexy. It's not that she needs to distract us from her voice, it's just her style. Last night she looked stunning with those amazing boobs out on display. But did anyone else notice a little twirl on the stage that allowed her slit to breeze open and show us the forbidden treasure down under? Sure, the treasure was covered but still...talk about risque. Maybe she was nervous about being stuck in a slot that seems to send everyone home. But listen girl, with a voice like that, you don't need to put your goodies on display ala Pickler (who needs all the help she can get). That's not to say I was offended by the rather graphic display...because I wasn't. I'm just sayin...
Having said that, I feel that I can now, with clearer mind, talk about the performances last night. For our honorary coaches we were treated to perhaps the best male vocalist in the world, Andrea Bocelli and legendary music producer David Foster. Unfortunately, as great as these two men are, the theme for this night did nothing to jazz up what turned out to be a sappy, insipid show. Thankfully we had Elliott who, if ~foxy coxy~ and I have anything to do with it, will be around a long, long time. I haven't heard the final vote tally from ~foxy coxy~ but I do know that Elliott got a grand total of 18 votes from my house.
Having gotten all the inconsequential stuff out of the way, let's talk about the actual performances...Katharine McPhee - I Have NothingIt's no secret that this girl can sing and that she is loved, almost with an everlasting love...but come on...Simon's right, she ain't no Whitney Houston. Not even close! And to open the show with that number just didn't work. The sad thing is, if history is any indication, she might actually go home. When 9:25p ET rolls around, what ya wanna bet she's gonna be on-stage crappin' bricks?!
Elliott Yamin - A Song For YouWOW! Homeboy just keeps getting better and better! Paula cried, Simon laughed at her, but then once again gave Elliott the ultimate compliment. The true music lover/critic in my house is chomping at the bit to go out and buy this guy's CD. I'd put last night's performance in my iPod! I'm still a bit scared for him though as his "personality" just hasn't been allowed to show as much as some of the other performers. It was nice to get the little rap session with him though and it was especially cool to see him give props to Donnie Hathaway (daughter Kenya's a hottie huh?!). Hopefully this guy'll be around for the BIG night!
Kellie Pickler - Unchained MelodyThere's only so much you can teach a ho to do and she's hit the bottom of the barrell when it comes to singing. She may be brilliant at using her mouth for other things...but I'm done with the singing part. Heck, I'm done with that cutsie, affected, trailer-park ignorance that some want to chalk up to naivete. Last night's performance was so bad, in my humble opinion, they could just pack her up now without making us sit through another bad "results" show. The really disturbing thing is that I don't see her going home anytime soon. That's the real heartbreak of the show!
Paris Bennett - The Way We WerePickler's awful performance was sandwiches between one great and one good performance. Paris was good! But I couldn't help but think that the song selection just didn't work. Memories? From Streisand? What is this...70s Gay Idol? Don't get me wrong...she did a good job but like Simon, I thought it was just a bit old-fashioned for her. Old-fashioned enough that it might just send her home tonight. That would be a travesty of justice in my opinion...but one that is the most likely to play out tonight. Her memories after tonight may well be "the way we were" when she thinks of Idol.
Taylor Hicks - Just OnceOn paper, this should have been a great song choice for Taylor. It wasn't. I was completely underwhelmed. Bring back the old Taylor...the one I like...the one that could win it all. Not this sappy Taylor...puhleez!!!
Chris Daughtry - Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman?You could feel the rocker trying to break out of sappy love song hell on this number. It was good...really good! Not as good as Elliott...but good! This guy is in no danger what-so-ever!! And by the way...didn't you get the feeling that he really has "loved a woman"? In fact, I can think of several who wish he would love on them a little bit...even a fellow or two. Great ending for an otherwise ho-hum night!
Well, with the exception of the brief glimpse of McPheever treasure chest, the tears from Paula, and the music cueing up before Simon was done cutting little Miss Thing down to size, the night was pretty much a yawner. Who's coming up with these themes? Do I bitch about this every year or is it just this one? Perhaps it's completely inconsequential because I, like 30+ million others, keep on watching and voting. Don't look at me like that...you do to...admit it!
j.
