Calling Miss Cleo...

Well, it was not the queen's night and no matter that one wasn't ready to "back down" or another has soared because we "loved" her (I'm sure those pics I saw on the internet had absolutely nothing to do with it), the three ladies referenced above are really, really, really skatin' on thin ice. Like Simon, I'm not trying to be rude, I'm just sayin', these chicks don't have the collective vocal abilities of a cat in heat. Perhaps by some weird chance of fate (or your own four M's) you missed last night's performances. If that's the case, then I'll fill ya in ~ Haley (Queen of the Night) ~ Alaina (Not Ready to Make Nice) ~ Antonella (Because You Loved Me) were all outclassed, outsung and just about any other "out" you can think of last night. But, since I don't want you to think I've nothing nice to say, I will say that they all looked beautiful and not one of them needed Simon's oh-so-helpful fashion advice.

Which, was it just me or did he seem to be freely distributing it last night? Seriously y'all, the guy has the fashion sense of Yoda, although from what I hear, he pays a ton of money for that slag he wears. But I digress. Seriously though, he was doling out fashion advice like he was Giorgio Armani or something. And frankly, my girl LaKisha did look like she could use it. Those shoes and that skirt weren't meant for that body. I'm sorry...so sorry...but he's right...she needed somethng that screamed "I'm a star!" and what she wore said "I'm a $5 hooker". And Lord knows, I love the girl so it pains me to say that. Then again, that would be my only complaint about her. Dang...the girl can blow!!! I l.u.v. her (special shout out to granny!)!

Having said that, I realized last night that she's got some serious competition. No, absolutely not from the guys, but from at least three others. I have always had a fondness for Miss Melinda Doolittle (doesn't she remind you of your third grade teacher...the one that, in your third grade mind you thought was SO hot...yeah...I'm bettin' so) and she didn't disappoint ~ no, not in the least. In fact, she blew the roof off the joint. Sadly, my Moxi is still on the fritz and so I was unable to replay over and over ad nauseum (I'm sure the neighbors breathed a collective sigh of relief).

Another serious competitor is Stephanie Edwards. Let's be honest...she's just freakin' HOT. And because I don't think you heard me, really heard me, the first time, I'm gonna repeat myself. She's just freakin' HOT!!! I don't care if she's Beyonce-lite or not. Heck, that might even be a plus. She's had two great weeks and I expect it to keep on a comin! Also in the top tier would have to be Sabrina Sloan, although, I'll admit, I rather had to agree with Simon this week when he said that it wasn't as good as last week's. Of course, he did follow that up with the pronouncement that she is a "great singer!" YAY!

I would be remiss if I failed to mention Gina Glocksen. Whew!! Ok, she sang a song that has more memories for me that just about any other! Ah the joys your first highschool dance, that first kiss (Hi Tracey!) while a faux Heart band screamed out "Alone"! yee-haw!!! It wasn't her best performance, but dang, she beat that faux Heart band from my Sadie Hawkins dance all to heck!! And who could forget Jordin Sparks! I love that chicka, even if she wasn't at her best last night. She's got staying power. Of course that leaves one more that I haven't mentioned. I think her name is Leslie. She's not bad, she's just not memorable. She should probably stay around another week, but not much more.

If I was Miss Cleo, I'd give you my predictions as to which of the three listed at the top were going home. Then again, Miss Cleo has about as my talent as I do when it comes to predicting the future. Hmmmm...maybe we should team up and restart the Psychic Reader's Network. We could call it the Psychic American Idol Network. You know, that's not a bad idea...in fact...let me see if I can't raise ole Cleo right now..."hello, hello, hello..." Dang I hate it when my ESP is on the fritz!

j.