Uh oh...it's the Apocalypse...everybody hide!
Ok - you know that feeling when you're watching T.V. and you realize that the cloying drivel being orchestrated by the Hollywood machine is forcing you to steel yourself with a jaded supernova shield, tempered with disdain and disbelief?
Of course you do.
And then a 64 year old contestant armed with a 300 person petition and a sob story tugs at your heart strings and you die a little inside. The defeat the Producers dolled out can not be forgiven. Even now, a good hour since I watched the episode, I can still see his face and hear his voice. For shame, Ryan, for shame.
It is the 3rd best show on television (Battlestar Galactica and The Daily Show can't be faded), but you have to watch it with a friend and you have to be drinking (red wine is preferred) for the formula to come out right. You have to be able to look at someone and go: "Did you see Paula's face? OMG, rewind it!" for you to qualify as a quality viewer.
Anyway, at the end of the bittersweet performance, I was actually moved. Like almost brought a tear to my eye moved - you could tell he was singing to his dead girlfriend (sidebar: Love it when he kept saying "My Lady"...means they weren't married...they were ACTUALLY in love, just so you know) and you could tell he sang it to her while in the hospital room as she counted the signatures, dying from cancer. He did better than a lot of the crappy ones they show in these beginning episodes, that's for sure. The best ones are the ones they're still doing background checks on.
Did you guys hear this crap about the Producers seeking to replace Paula Abdul with Courtney Love? Have you ever seen a better application of "Out of the frying pan and into the fryer" EVER? I think not! Say what you want about Paula Abdul (Lord knows I do), but dammit she's earned my respect as an entertainer. Simon's always right, but he's such a bitch about it, and Randy is....well he's Randy...so it often falls to Paula to at least make their reactions interesting. When she likes the singer (always a guy...hey Paula...pssssst...slow your roll turbo...could you be a little more obvious?) she looks at Randy, and when she doesn't like the performer, she droopily mugs the camera, trying to look professional and only pulling off looking fabulous and drunk. Fabulunk? Drunkulous? Now that she's successfully replaced Jaye P. Morgan from the Gong Show, how in hell can she be replaced? Especially by Courtney "Lifetime ban on Qantis" Love? Ew!
Of course you do.
And then a 64 year old contestant armed with a 300 person petition and a sob story tugs at your heart strings and you die a little inside. The defeat the Producers dolled out can not be forgiven. Even now, a good hour since I watched the episode, I can still see his face and hear his voice. For shame, Ryan, for shame.
It is the 3rd best show on television (Battlestar Galactica and The Daily Show can't be faded), but you have to watch it with a friend and you have to be drinking (red wine is preferred) for the formula to come out right. You have to be able to look at someone and go: "Did you see Paula's face? OMG, rewind it!" for you to qualify as a quality viewer.
Anyway, at the end of the bittersweet performance, I was actually moved. Like almost brought a tear to my eye moved - you could tell he was singing to his dead girlfriend (sidebar: Love it when he kept saying "My Lady"...means they weren't married...they were ACTUALLY in love, just so you know) and you could tell he sang it to her while in the hospital room as she counted the signatures, dying from cancer. He did better than a lot of the crappy ones they show in these beginning episodes, that's for sure. The best ones are the ones they're still doing background checks on.
Did you guys hear this crap about the Producers seeking to replace Paula Abdul with Courtney Love? Have you ever seen a better application of "Out of the frying pan and into the fryer" EVER? I think not! Say what you want about Paula Abdul (Lord knows I do), but dammit she's earned my respect as an entertainer. Simon's always right, but he's such a bitch about it, and Randy is....well he's Randy...so it often falls to Paula to at least make their reactions interesting. When she likes the singer (always a guy...hey Paula...pssssst...slow your roll turbo...could you be a little more obvious?) she looks at Randy, and when she doesn't like the performer, she droopily mugs the camera, trying to look professional and only pulling off looking fabulous and drunk. Fabulunk? Drunkulous? Now that she's successfully replaced Jaye P. Morgan from the Gong Show, how in hell can she be replaced? Especially by Courtney "Lifetime ban on Qantis" Love? Ew!
This is Professor Snoutch saying, "I'd rather have a drunk pill popper that looks flawless than a drunker, pill (and everything else) poppin' white trash mess anyday. She's actually got potential as an actress, I was shocked when she showed up in Basquiat and she's actually not half bad. As long as she's sober and everything that comes out of her mouth is scripted. Quite the opposite with Paula. I need her drunk and surprised and I'm a happy camper."
posted by jaaybug at 10:40 PM
2 Comments:
Courtney Love??? She demonstrates poor judgement within every aspect of her life. How could her infinite wisdom of booze and dub sacks contribute to the discovery of authentic talent? Helen Keller could screen auditions better.
How could her infinite wisdom of booze and dub sacks contribute to the discovery of authentic talent?
The answer is of course that it must contribute somewhat because Paula's wisdom isn't much deeper. Come on, like "Straight Up" qualifies her to aid in the "discovery of authentic talent"...that's not to say that I don't like Paula, but her qualifications boil down to (i) loopy, teary, sloppy love for all the finalists (ii) sea lion clapping and (iii) "wisdom of booze and dub sacks".
Having said all of that (geez...shut up already...), I can't imagine the show without her!
j.
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