A Kodak Moment

The culmination of months of weeding finally paid off as our two finalists came out and showed us why (or why not) we should vote for them to become the next American Idol. With the Kodak Theater in Hollywood as the backdrop, it was sure to be a grand night. Sure enough, a quick pan over the audience showed that Tinseltown stars thought the same. I saw Mandy Moore and Paul Reiser, just to name a couple, as well as contestants from previous years. And of course, it wouldn't be a real finale without those who rounded out the final 12 this year...sitting, looking beautiful, but really thinking: "damn those two...I would have made a much better finalist!" (ok...maybe they weren't thinking that, but it's a lot funner to think they were huh?!) There were the judges, although I've got to say, only Simon seemed to step up to the awesomness of the event by putting on a cashmere jacket. Paula had that look of a drunk deer in the headlights...then again, that's nothing new so we can move on. Randy did manage to up his bling level a bit...otherwise, it was pretty much a normal night. Ryan's stylist this year was working overtime, putting him in the same suit he's worn nearly every night since the finalists took the stage (note to Ryan's stylist...he's been bland and boring this year...what gives?). Then came the big announcement...Taylor won the coin toss (like we cared) and had elected to go second (smart boy). And with that, the music kicked into gear... Katharine McPhee Black Horse and the Cherry Tree As her first song selection, Katharine performed a little number that she did back on May 2nd that got a lot of people hot and bothered. Flanked by two large dark-skinned men beating on drums while she writhed on the stage made for good TV and certainly did a lot to bring in the votes she needed that night, propelling her out of last place. Last night she did a fairly good rendition, albeit standing up. Simon said she was good, with a small "g"...I think he nailed it! Somewhere Over the Rainbow Watching her perform this a second time, I must admit I was pleasantly surprised. Sitting on the floor, dripping in pearls, she looked and sang like an angel. The song choice, clothing selection, make-up, jewels, etc. should endear her to gay men everywhere (at least those over a certain age who still manage to walk into a crowded bar where immediately a hush falls and the strains of this song waft through the air). Simon gave her Round 2 and it seemed appropriate. My Destiny I don't know who Idol hired to write the finalist's first "single" but they should be tarred and feathered then rode out of town on a fail. Who in their right mind would saddle Katharine with this song is just plain ignorant of her vocal abilities. This is not a single that will see playtime, nor should it. I felt sorry for her having to sing that crap. She is so much better than that song that I started to get angry. Honestly...anyone know who wrote it? They should be sent back to wherever it is that no-talent-hacks are sent. Gag me!! Taylor Hicks Living for the City Wearing a jacket that even Simon thought was awful, out came Taylor to rev up the 3,000 strong at the Kodak. And when he was done reprising his performance from Stevie Wonder night, it was a safe bet that Taylor had come to win. Even deducting points for that gawd-awful jacket, Taylor still won this round hands down. In fact, slaughter might be a better word to describe the carnage left in the wake of this performance. Levon I've never cringed through a performance of Taylors...until now. Was it just me or did it feel like he never was in sync with the band. In fact, the whole thing sounded shoddy and it was made all the more distinct because he followed the one, truly amazing performance from Katharine. What happened Taylor? When you performed this one the first time, you were simply amazing. This performance was simply mediocre! Did I Make You Proud? Again, who the hell wrote this drivel? Sure it was a ever so slightly better song than the one written for Katharine but that's not saying much. YUK YUK YUK It is truly sad that despite all the great songwriters of our time, many of whom have been featured throughout the competition, we are stuck with the writing team of dumb and dumber. Thankfully Taylor can take just about any song and turn it into something more. I still wouldn't expect this song to be a big seller...heck, even the black choir brought in simply could not rev up the Soul Patrol. Slight edge in round three to Taylor...ever so slight! And then, just when it seemed the night was over...out came Daniel Powter, in white, seated in front of a gleaming grand piano to perform the song American Idol rejects have turned into a hit. As he tinkled the ivories, letting his soothing voice tell us it's ok because everyone has a Bad Day, a video montage played in the background taking us back to the very beginning of it all. We saw the William Hung wanna-bes, those who sucked so bad we couldn't even hate them and then those who actually could carry a tune or two. We watched in fascination as clips of the final 12 were flashed on the screen and at one particular moment it finally hit me who the real winner of American Idol was. It isn't Taylor or Katharine or even Chris. It was the one person who the audience went nuts over when his picture was shone. Yep, you got it right...my boy Elliott! And so I salute the wonder boy who is the real winner...not the official winner...but the real winner. Elliott...it was just a bad day! j.